Don't You Wish Everything Was Free?

That's what my eleven year old asked me the other day. I thought about it before answering. She asks questions sometimes that sound really ridiculous to me, but if I take the time to think about them I understand the perspective they're coming from. She was wanting to buy a Kinect and had a lot of saving to do. Saving is a daunting task for all of us. We get so spoiled with our credit cards - and our debt.

So I thought a minute and then I said that no, I did not wish that everything was free. If everything were free then everything would be boring. It's the anticipation and the desire that makes a thing exciting. If everything were free our houses would be bursting with junk that we got bored with quickly as we moved on to the next thing.

Besides that (I went on to explain), it just wouldn't work. The people who make things have to get the materials to make them with and where would it come from? Everything just can't be free. I told her that instead she could maybe wish that she could win a Kinect. That idea made more sense to me (the poor child is saddled with a mother whose imagination wears concrete boots).

And then I thought of heaven. Sometimes I wonder about heaven. What will it be like? We will have no worries? But working through problems is what makes life interesting. Isn't everything free in heaven? Will heaven be boring? What is this "joy" that we will experience in heaven? It is obviously something beyond my comprehension. I don't wish everything was free. Heaven must be something more. Way, way more.

Happy Easter.

The Books That Got Me Where I Am Now

Maybe it's different for second generation homeschoolers, but for the rest of us, the rest who chose this crazy lifestyle out of the blue - that blue was dripping with books. I mean, most of us read a lot of books before we took the plunge. First we had to get curious. Then we had to get information. Then we had to get inspiration. Finally we had to figure out how to convince our husbands to go along with this crazy idea!

I've read a lot of books about homeschooling over the past, oh, 25 years (yikes!). Obviously I can only comment on the ones I remember and I won't bother listing the dozens that didn't inspire me in some way. But where to begin? I really have no idea where I began.

First I think I'll tell you the WRONG books (for me). One that sent me waaay off the in wrong direction was Homeschooling for Excellence by David and Micki Colfax. It was a nice read. The problem was that it convinced me that what we needed to do was go off to the woods somewhere (which we did) and raise our children with as little outside influence as possible. Don't get me wrong. We had some good times living in the woods and we met some wonderful people and made lasting friendships BUT I also realized that where we belonged was in the middle of the libraries and dance studios and music studios and book stores and nice restaurants and and and . . . Yeah. So sue me. I like reading about pioneers but I don't like living like one. Just because something works gangbusters for one family, it doesn't mean it's going to work for you.

Under the same category (nearly) I will include The Well-Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer. I believe in this book 100%! - for somebody else. I read the first two chapters, stamped my forehead with "L" for "loser" and took the thing back to the library. Not on your life. Not on your tintype. I can't do it. I can't say it. I won't chew it.

Whew. Okay. Now that we've discussed my failures, let's move on to happier topics.

My favorite homeschool author is John Holt. His views on children and their ability to learn is similar to Shinichi Suzuki's. How Children Learn is a good place to start with John Holt. And while we're on the topic of Suzuki, try Nurtured by Love. It's a good read even if you don't want to enroll your children in music lessons (though I think you should).

John Holt also leads us into unschooling territory. Summerhill School: A New View of Childhood by A.S. Neill was a book that I read early in my homeschooling days and it certainly influenced the way I view education. It's been many years since I read the book (I keep thinking I'll remember to pick it up and read it again) so I can't really offer any useful memories of the book other than the overall impression it made on me. It was the start of my thinking that school didn't have to be what we all think school is.

Another fine example along the same lines and one of my favorites is a book written by a 17 year old girl called The Day I Became an Autodidact. The author's name is Kendall Hailey. It's a wonderful diary of a girl who decides she's had enough of school and will finish her high school career on her own terms. The book has been criticized for Kendall having had educated parents or something. Fine. She comes from a family who appreciates education and not every child can be an autodidact. Now that you've had that disclaimer, feel free to enjoy the book.

I do have some favorites that are nearer center (not so near the lunatic fringe where I'm ever so comfortable). I really love Karen Andreola's book, A Charlotte Mason Companion. I went to far as the get the Charlotte Mason books themselves but decided that I liked Mrs. Andreola's summaries much better and I eventually sold Charlotte down the river - I mean - to some other ambitious homeschool mom (I wonder if she read them?) This is one of those books I think all homeschoolers should take a look at. My kids are not good narrators, but there are still lots of ideas and perspectives in the book that I felt added to my education as an educator.

Oops, now nearing that fringe once again. If you discover that you don't have a table sitting, pencil mastering offspring, do take a look at Right Brained Children in a Left Brained World (Jeffrey Freed). It's another to have on the shelf. I think the name says it all. Read this one before you start piling up books on how to wrangle your "difficult" or "hyperactive" or "learning disabled" child. You might still need some of those books (there is a time and a place perhaps) but this book shows you how to mold the education to the child instead of vice versa.

Another fave that's nice to have around is The Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease. Who doesn't love a book *about* reading that's mostly a book list that's as long as a book?! What's not to love?

That's it. That's the list of books that is always at the surface of my thought process for the how and why of homeschooling. If you're new to this game they may crack your "how to" of homeschooling wide open.

A Little Fear Goes a Long Way

All three of my children are musicians. This is because I am afraid of music teachers. There's no way I'm going into a music lesson with a child who has not practiced! (though it took me a while to learn how to accomplish it).

We've been students of the Suzuki method (yes, I said "we" and I'm sticking with it). I know that there are musicians who dislike the Suzuki method and say that students trained in the method lack an understanding of theory. I suppose that could be so. I'm not really much of a musician myself so I'm in no position to judge. My philosophy is that any method is only as good as the teacher you have, so find yourself a good one. We've had six teachers all told and I think they've all been good. A couple have been very good and one, perhaps, quite stellar (if you want that name you'll have to ask).

The Suzuki method, in it's pure form, is a beautiful thing. The concept that "every child can learn" is close to my heart. Having said in other posts that preschoolers should not have any formal training thrust upon them, I have to now add a caveat. If you have the right teacher and the right attitude, then I recommend Suzuki music lessons even for preschoolers. Some people start their child at three. That can be an expensive waste of money (though not time), but four year olds are definitely old enough to get started. Even my unruly four-year-olds benefited (it's not fun to watch the other, mild mannered preschoolers doing what they're supposed to do while you are wrestling with yours, but never mind). It all depends on when you want to start and how long you are willing to take to get the thing to gel.

Studying the Suzuki method as a parent can be extremely helpful to homeschooling parents. It's all about structure and patience. What a difficult combination! The structure was something our homeschool desperately needed. The training in patience was something our homeschool desperately needed too! And accountability. Did I mention accountability? It helps that you have to face that scary music teacher once a week! Funny, my kids were never afraid of their music teachers (well, maybe one. . .)

Back to Those Preschoolers

I noticed that the largest number of "views" is for the post on pre-schoolers. It's really exciting to think that mommies of preschoolers are looking at it because they are planning to homeschool their little ones, or at least thinking about it. Unfortunately that post doesn't go very far in saying much about it?

Yes, reading is really really really important for little children but it's certainly not the only thing AND some little ones (ahem) may not really want to take the time to sit still for it at all! All is not lost if you have one of "those" children. Everybody is different, everybody has their own way of learning. It's all good!

So, let's think about other ways that small children learn (are we all thinking?). Think, think, think (have you read your Milne yet?) Okay, first, we all know that children learn by doing very annoying things. They put everything in their mouths! They touch everything! They throw things on the floor while they are sitting in their high chairs!

Important Rule Number One to Remember: Learning can be very annoying to a parent.

Keep that rule in mind because then, when junior is being annoying you can ask yourself, "Is junior learning?!" When they're little the answer is almost always yes. (Actually, the answer is "yes" when they're older too, but "learning how to annoy your parents" is not the kind of learning any of us want to foster).

One of the most difficult challenges you will ever tackle as a parent is finding that balance between teaching a child discipline, allowing a child to learn, and keeping a child safe.

Important Rule Two to Remember: Learning can be dangerous. Learning to walk is dangerous. Jumping off the deck is learning. I need not say more. If your child has become mobile you are already aware of Important Rule Number Two to Remember.

Important Rule Number Three to Remember: Learning can be (is) messy. First you start with cheerios on the floor. Then you graduate to the hateful glue and scissors phase (unless you have read my previous post and have taken my advice).

I wish I had something for you preschool mommies to sink your teeth into, but I just don't believe in it. For babies and toddlers and preschoolers, learning is exploration. By the age of three, four, five, that exploration will branch into more "academic" activities such as coloring and scribbling, but they don't require workbooks of any kind.

Take them outside and let them throw things. Let them feel the wind in their faces as they swing - the thrill of gravity as they go down the slide. Let them splash in the kiddie pool and get messy in a puddle. The grass, the sun, the stars, the wind, the water - those are the science subjects for a preschooler. Legos, blocks, heavy pots and and airy bubbles - those are the math and physics lessons.

I know how exciting this time is, especially with your first child, but use these years to become your child's partner in learning, not his drill sergeant. And, if he will sit still for it, read those books - those beautiful, wonderful, magical books.

Let's Talk About Unschooling

Dear authorities, by "unschooling" we do not mean that we allow our children to roam free and terrorize the neighborhood while all the good boys and girls are in school. Well, okay, *once or twice* one (or two) of them may have gotten loose *at one time or another* and painted the neighbor's cat but, what I'm saying is, that's not the goal of the program. (But seriously, how creative is that? Huh? Really, you've got to give credit where credit is due).

Generally, the more experience a homeschool parent has, the more comfortable they are with the concept of unschooling and many of them end up doing it for a limited period of time now and then. It's often suggested (at least by me!) that children who are brought home to school after being in regular school be allowed some period of unschooling time. Some (writers of books) suggest an entire year. That usually sounds too scary for parents new to homeschooling. To homeschool you have to have a certain amount of faith in your child's willingness and ability to learn. To unschool you have to have a lot of it.

Where does one begin? It may be best to bite the bullet and say, "no electronics from blah until blah." That way the little buggers have to figure out something to do to entertain themselves and sometimes (when they're not painting cats) that turns out to be educational. Personally, I don't think you even have to be so fierce, cruel, and self-disciplined (let's face it, it takes a lot of parental self-discipline to put up all day with a kid who has nothing but time on their hands and no electronics!). I'm here to tell you that even with cable TV and the internet, a kid gets bored eventually and is forced to find something else to do (the number of Spongebob episodes being finite).

So let's take it from where we are. Here, just hypothetically speaking, we have a child who has watched so many episodes of Spongebob and The Wizards of Waverly Place (which is really a clever show btw) that they can stand it no longer. Then what? Well, they may wander in while you're cooking. You ask them to get the eggs. One thing leads to another. You may be tempted to take this opportunity to introduce a lesson in fractions, but this post is not about creative schooling, it's about unschooling so try to control your teaching instincts.

They may wander in while you're doing laundry. All I can say to that is "it's about time!" Tell them to pick up the dirty underwear and put it in the washer. They'll say, "That's disgusting!" You'll say, "No kidding!"

Now here comes the magic that must be a part of every homeschooler's life. The Library. Take them to The Library. If, when you go, they only want to get on the computers and there are not enough hours in their childhood to allow them to get tired of every computer game at the library, then just go with a time window in mind and tell them to get some books.

Whether you are an unschooler or a mondo schooler, you have to make the library a part of your life. Just remember all those smart guys who did big things like become president but didn't go to school (Abe Lincoln for instance). How did they get so smart? They read books of course. It's true, Abe didn't have a lot of books and he didn't go to the library but, though I may have faith in my children's ability to learn, I don't have faith that any one of them is as determined to learn as good old Abe. Not one of them is probably going to read the Bible eight times this year just because it's the only reading material in the house.

Other unschooling requirements (choose eight): pencils, crayons, paper, a globe (ours has fallen off the stand, is short one continent, and has rolled under the bed in my room - that's what I call well-loved), legos, Uncle Wriggly, dominoes, water, playing cards, Monopoly, puzzles, measuring cups, blocks, dirt, an easel, water colors, paint brushes, sidewalk chalk, trees. (You may notice I've left scissors off the list. What's with the preschools teaching kids to use scissors, huh? You want to teach your kid to use scissors, before you know it you're going to have a floor covered in confetti and small bits of yarn! Go ahead - just don't say I didn't warn you. Ditto on the glue).

One more important thing for unschoolers and all homeschoolers is Going Places. Going Places is HUGE! It's another big advantage of homeschooling and, in my opinion, it's the BEST part of homeschooling. Movies, museums, libraries, road trips, horse trails. Where do you like to go? As they say, live and learn. That's what it's all about.

Not many parents are going to want to unschool for their child's entire career. Most people who do it at all will only do it for short periods at a time. It's just good to take a look at both extremes (oh, did I not look at the other extreme? please read someone else's blog if you want to read about mondo schooling) and realize that for most of us, homeschooling lies somewhere in between and that it's okay if, now and then, we're a little bit "unschooly".

Think Outside the Coloring Book

The discussion of cuddlebugs and flibbertijibbets leads us to a very important issue - learning styles. If you're watching, clues to your child's learning style can begin to be apparent when they are mere babes. A very active baby is likely to be a kinesthetic learner, but maybe not exclusively. I won't delve into profiles and definitions here. If you are homeschooling and you haven't looked into learning styles, there are lots of books available on the subject to help you. Do look into it because it is important and it is one of the educational components that homeschooling can address better than practically any other method of schooling (unless you have lots of money and can hire private teachers who specialize in your child's learning style.

As your child grows and develops you will want to be watching out for the ways that he learns best and capitalize on those preferences by finding methods that meet his madness. It's important, especially if you are an inexperienced homeschool mom, not to freak over things that your child doesn't like doing. Not all children enjoy coloring. Some kids (I have heard) can be happily engaged in long periods of time coloring in a coloring book. Others would rather make stick figure cats (pages and pages, notebooks and notebooks full of them).

Yes, you do want your child to learn find motor control and hand/eye coordination and all that stuff. Just remember, there's more than one way to skin a stick figure cat. Think outside the coloring book.

Flibbertijibbet ~or~ How Do You Hold a Moonbeam in Your Hand?

In my last post I made reference to snugglebugs, those charming, delightful little dears who love to climb up into your lap and sit while you read, or watch TV. Or maybe they just want to sit with you and babble. Awww. So sweet. However, not all babies/toddlers are snugglebugs though. Some of us were blessed with flibbertijibbets.

When I was pregnant with my first child I had a lot of plans. Ha ha ha (pardon me while I have a little laugh on myself) hee hee, ho ho ho. Ah me. Let me wipe away the little tears of mirth.

The first of these plans to be implemented was Reading Time. Yes indeed. I was going to start reading to my darling immediately. In fact, I'm sure I read to her before she was born, but I don't really remember doing it. On second thought, maybe I would have felt foolish doing that. No matter. After she was born I was on the job. Ready to read.

She lay peacefully in my lap for, oh, I dunno, maybe six weeks or so. Of course she didn't do a lot of looking at the pictures. Not to say she wasn't bright and alert (oh my, she got brighter and alerter every day), but, you know, I mean, six weeks.

After that, things started going downhill as far as the holding still went. I remember by three months I had moved Reading Time to the floor. That way she could thrash about and I could maybe get through a picture book or two before her baby message of "next thing! time for the next thing! moving along now!" got too loud to ignore.

It was around that same time that my second major plan, No Television For My Child came crashing to rubble. All day long I was presented with "next thing! time for the next thing! moving along now!" (I don't use capitals here because she was, of course, very small). Her devious little baby plan was for me to walk her around all day showing her everything in the world and so, in order to ease her frustration at not being able to get at everything in the world, (and yes, to give myself a break for pity's sake!!!) I put her in front of the TV.

Ahhh, sweet stillness. Oh! How she LOVED the television. LOVED IT. It's not my intention here to expose her as a genius in diapers, but her favorite was Jeopardy. The music sent her into spasms of delight. Our favorite parlor trick at the time was to turn it on, if we had visitors over at just the right hour, and dandle her on a knee. When that theme came on she went into paroxysms of excitement! I wish I had it on video.

I'll leave the story at that for now. If you are trying to imagine what it was like when this child became mobile, even before she was ambulatory, let your imagination run wild. Because that's what it was (wild). But we'll save that story for another day when we will veer back onto the theme of homeschooling.

How to Homeschool a Preschooler

Stop it! Put the flashcards down and nobody gets hurt. Just leave that child alone - well, not literally, but please stop "educating" him. Sheesh, way to ruin the process before it begins.

Here are some ideas. Read aloud (yes, you are going to find some state of the art recommendations on this blog such as "reading aloud"). Read whatever it is *you* are reading. If you have a snuggler you have yourself a scholar in the making. Remember in To Kill a Mockingbird where Scout talks about how Atticus would read the paper to her? That's what you're after. If you have a snugglebug, let them snuggle up while you're reading the paper, or that computer magazine, or War and Peace. (I recommend you save "Cosmo" for behind locked doors).

Sure, go ahead and read Pat the Bunny and that kind of stuff too. Those pictures books are going to be teaching things you don't even know you're being taught (did you catch that? "They're going to be teaching things *you* don't know *you* are being taught"? You are going to be learning so much good stuff!). The Story of Ping is more of an introduction to Asian studies than you realize.

How about the classics? Pooh? Just the story of a stuffed bear? Nay forsooth, Milne's books teach language as art through prose.

Which just reminded me of something. Prose can be like music. The other day at my daughter's violin lesson her teacher started reciting Shakespeare with great drama, his words rising and falling - crescendo and descrescendo. Good music is prose (and should be played that way). Good prose is music (and should be read that way).

The Morning After

Hmmm. I think I like the name of my blog. I slept on it and it grew on me. Hopefully not like moss but more like the roots of inspiration. Time will tell.

In the beginning. . .

Not a very good name, huh? I didn't think about it very long. That's a frequent problem for me. I don't think about things very long. I just get an idea and pounce. I got an urge to do this blog yesterday so I restrained myself for an inordinate amount of time before I jumped in to do it.

This blog is about homeschooling actually. Let's see what develops.

Oh, but I wanted to mention why I chose the name. I have a very strong feeling that education should not be done in an institutional setting unless you are educating someone to function within an institution. Of course there are plenty of institutions around and if your dream for your child is to have him working in one, then it might be a good choice - except that then you'd want your institutional school to be geared toward the institution toward which you were striving and the only institution that schools train you for is, uh, yeah. School.

I didn't mean to start preaching already, but I guess it's my blog and I can preach if I want to.